Sooooo…. it's been a good long while since I have written anything here. A great deal has happened in the last long while, and it's been very hard to write about my personal life. How does one lead a public and private life, staying true to one or the other, continuing a sort of mythology in order not to cause pain to fans, yet at the same time be thrown into the struggle of my life? Some of you know what I've had to go through in the last year. It's been, to say the least… challenging.
But I have come through and almost on the other side of some very dark times. Now I have a new life, new Love and feeling very hopeful towards the future!
With all of this, I am stronger now. I've learned to count on myself and to believe in myself. I've found the ability to ask for help when I need it (which is not easy for me), and to lean on those close pals around me who have helped me along the way. And the good side is these changes have fed my own personal artistic expression and have allowed me to grow by leaps and bounds at learning to record and mix my own music, as well as create the soundtrack to the live film for my shows. I feel as if I am walking in new worlds, entering new realms and all of it up to me.
Yet the truth is… It has been extremely costly to deal with a mountain of debt from the FatM tours - on top of upheaving my life, creating a new studio to work in and - in many ways, start completely over. I am now a completely self-run entity and will start my own record company to release my album in the U.S. But doing just a simple search for my music, I find website after website offering my music for free. Orders are very few and far between. It's been, at the very least, disheartening.
My fans say they can't wait to hear my next album. Many don't understand that it costs so much to do what I love to do, and create what they hopefully love to listen to.
This is why I am going to do the following: sell my paintings, more artwork, some personal creations, belongings and costumes -- and -- ask for donations.
I had a long talk with kaRIn and Statik of Collide, another completely independent musical entity and old friends of mine. They told me about their donation page, and the amount of support fans have given them. They also pointed out the following facts, which I know all too well, but may be good to reiterate here:
• If you buy something directly from a band's website, and you spend $10, they get the whole $10, minus only the processing fees from either the credit card company or paypal.
• If you purchase something from iTunes, the band gets about 67 cents for each dollar you spend.
• If you purchase a CD from someplace like Amazon, they get about 45 cents for each dollar you spend.
• If you download something from a torrent site, they (we - as musicians), of course, get $0.
For anyone who feels like they can help out a little (or for people who may have been getting my music for free), now is your chance to help me continue to make music. Your donation will help fund some of the costs of recording my new album, including mastering costs, production costs, some studio equipment I need as well as the dreaded pressing costs.
With any donation of $25 or more, you will also get your name in the credits of my new album as a special supporter.
Here are the pages with Items for Sale:
I hope this will be fun for those fans who would love their name added to my next album, or get the chance to own a little piece of history from one of my costumes or art pieces.
Thank you for the support all these years!